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I buried you in my mind before;
under the apple tree in my mother’s garden.
You’ve never been, but
it’s the only final resting place I know.
I have known of you my entire life.
Never met the man you were,
and I never want to.
Sometimes I’m scared you
stare at me through the mirror.
I know more and more of you now.
I’ve never wished you more dead
than ever before.
You haunt my nightmares,
even if you only haunted my mother.
Whiskey is on your breath
and a key in the door.
She has no way out.
Her mother wants to keep her safe.
By the river, by the apple tree.
I should shoot a bullet through your brain,
bury you with acid.
No one will miss you.
The apple tree is a nice place,
too nice for a monster.
I’ll drown you then.
In the river, by the apple tree.
Watch you drift away.
My mom will visit the apple tree by the river
and there is nothing of you left.
There’s nothing I could do now.
You’ve drank yourself to death
before I could do something.
Your death doesn’t scare me anymore.
I wonder if you’re still buried.
But no one loved you in your final days.
No flowers on your grave, or crying
people at your service.
You visited my aunt.
To try and sway her mind.
She stood her ground,
and then you died alone.
It’s a punishment too light.
You should’ve died
by the apple tree, by the river.
A bullet through your brain,
put there by me.